 |
|
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BRO!!!
ate ann loves you so much.
sorry sa lahat..kasi sometimes i became rude to you..thatw as just a paglalambing..alam mo naman at mo..papansin.hehe. wag ka lang pikon kasi.
aral mabuti a..isipn mo muna sila mommy before anything else..aral mabuti
sorry wala gift si ate..ndi dha nkpag ipon e..love ka namn nya e..un ang naiipon.
ate ann loves you so much.
take care always. :)
Posted at Tuesday, August 30, 2005 by formeonly
Permalink
today is august 30 2005. tuesday.
kanina lang umiyak ako kasi nawala ko ung shorts kong regalo sakin ni astrd nung debut ko. that was not just simply a shorts..a board shorts na anjan lang at "hello? bakit mo iiyakan? babaw!!" but that was really important. i mean simply special. and it makes me happy when i get to see it because that was my ever favorite shorts i have among my many pretty board shorts i have and most of the people at my birthday gave to me. haay. the feeling was different.
at the other side of my heart, i was thinking very symbolic. i studied and went further on things one by one on what happened and relate it to my misty past days i had.
uuwi nako.galing ako kila nica and we resolved the conflict we had since nung saturday. pinagusapan namin lahat since nung sat. kwento kung ano text. i was fuckin burning. it breaks my heart whenever i thought of those stuffs i fuckin done last sat. lalo na smoking. that was the hatest thing. it burns ny heart lalo na pag nakikita ko si chabs and jelene.--that was not really me.i swear!!! anong ngyare skin? putangna ilang buwan ko tong dadalin at iisipn at ibobother sa lahat ng ggwin ko?..mahirap ibahin at ibalik ang dating ako lalo na pag from positive to negative. even if they tell me friends parin nmn tayo and all..yaan mo na un. how am i fuckn sure na ndi msama at diri ang tingin nyo sakin? worst, am i pretty sure na u wont tell anybody?...un ang pinaka mahirap na kalaban.it kills me.sobra.paranoid pa naman ako.haay.
chabs, jelene..i am really sorry. hindi ko alam kung pano ko pa iibahin..but it happened already. haay.
pano ba ko babawi?..sana kasi mabalik nlng. punyeta. PANGET KA KASI!!!! IKAW NNMN ANG DAHILAN!
LINTEK.
anyway, so galing nga ako kila nica..the cute shorts was inside a cute small paper bag na nilabahan pa ni jelene..*take note.sha ang naglaba. how sweet.fav ko daw kasi. and, ung top ni angelique was also inside that cutie brown paper bag. all the way to galle..dala2 ko un.i remember.dami ko kasing dala.till fx.
suspicious #1: baka sa fx nawala.naiwan ko ata.NO!!! ndi pede.im not sure!
suspicious #2: sa simbahan. i was really praying. and this freakin fish ball manong was there at my right side. it seems he captured me and his nilulutong na parang malutong na fish ball to make me buy some of it. i was really distracted. while praying, i kept on looking at it baka kasi umalis e bibili ako. then sabe ko.ay sori po papa.sge dasal muna ko.i still believe na pag lingon ko jan mamaya, anjan parin yang manong fish ball na yan. i believe you. then i prayed the prayers i kept on saying. excitingly looking at the side where i left to see the enticing fish balls, oh no its gone!! wala na!! oh no!! sabe ko pa sa sarili ko..ok lang kht mwala..hahabulin ko rin nmn e..kaya kong habulin. kasi kala ko challenge ni God un. tanga! hinabol nga.ayan sa hangang dumating na papuntang highway.hay.naabutan ko pa.sana hindi na.pero gsto ko kasi tlga ng fish balls.tas un.manong pabili ng 3 pesos. ang dami kong dala.i remember pinatong ko buks ko sa may sawsawan while i get my coins.hay. bsta pag alis ko dun, dame kong dala. i jst remmber nwala tlga sa utak ko ung paper bag na un. feel ko tlga sa smbhn e.hay.sana may magbalik.iniyakan ko tlga.haay.such a cry baby.
nung pag gising ko at pgtapos kong kumain ng dinner dun ko lang nlaman.wla sa kama ko. i hope. bumalik un.
I FELT Papa tested me.dpat kasi ndi ko na hinabol.yan tuloy.malas tuloy ang ngyare.tsktsk. sa fish ball man un o dahil naiwan ko sa smbhan..ganun din yun..umalis parin ako at tumakbo not knowing about my things went to.haay.
parang nung kay ira..halos totoong nilandi ko sha..ayoko lang aminin tlga.kasi im not that type of person.i look so aggressive.pucha.not so me.malala pa, i hurt my very own nica.tanga tlga ko!!! tangna.ung ginawa kong paglalandi..parang pghabol ko sa mamang fishball.na sbe ni GOD na ndi ko anman narealize agad na wag na palng habulin..wag na. e because, i liked it, i miss eating fish balls..kahit onti lang. gets..ang fish balls msama sa katawan..parang pgkacrush sa gurl..masama rin but i pursue it.gsuto ko kasi.tsk. yan tuloy.so what did i get?...nwala ang shorts kong importante at espesyal sakin..symbollically, parang si nica itself or ang friendship namin. tapos. ako ung nasaktan kasi ako ung nawalan. pero.... as a matter of fact, tlga namang mgpaparaya ako e. hirap na hirap na nga akong magcover up e.ang hirap kayang mag give way.sobra! lalo na kung if u feel na may pagasa kayo ni . hay. NO!!! ayoko.i chose nica coz i love her more. and i chsoe my future to be better. ayoko tlga ng may nasasagi.kung meron, lagi akong give way. even if it hurts so bad. ayoko lang tlga ng gulo.lalo na kay nica.
its very obvious na mahal na ni nica and she's happy. though confused rin pero she really wanted ira.dati pa.kung makikipag on sha..si ira tlga. e kasi naman..i can see mela through her. it sucks. tangna. wag na shang pakita sakin.it will hurt a lot. lalo na pag pareho silang affected. kunwari i dont care but at the back of my mind, i was so hurt. ngtetext na sila..wow.how beatiful. im ahppy for nica. pero sana hindi nlng ako involved.para wlang sakitan. bsta suporta lang ako pero sana hindi ko nlng tlga sha crush at worst, mejo naging close pa kami.. at naging close pa dahl kay dianne...diba..anog katarantaduhan un?...please...i wanted to escape.sobra! gusto kong umalis. at mgpaka bato.
sana wla akong nafifeel. sna wla nalang sakit na word sa mundong ito.sana puro msaya nlng at wlang hirap.
ang paasa pa.pakilig pa.lintek na panget pa.hay
dear nica...please dont think about me anymore. i wanted you to be happy. kung ryt now nahihirapan ka, and part of it was me, i am really soory. promise. i wont get hurt and il be fine. sanay naman kasi ako sa ganto diba. mas gusto kong ako ang mssktan kesa sa iakw pa. mas ok kung ako ang lalayo and move on kesa sa ikaw.mas gusto kong ako ang magsusuffer at mag gigive way for you to be happy. wag mo sanang sayangin tong sacrifice ko not only because you thought of me na nsasaktan while you were doing your thing.. NO!! i would much prefer to be the other way around that ikaw ung nagseselos. hindi kaya ng puso ko un. i love you and i always wanted you to be happy. kaht mali yan..kasi girl to girl..still..that's your happiness..please dont worry about me..il be fine. promise.:)
just pray fore me kayanin ko.:) il do everything promise.
i love you bestfriend nica.:)
it seems na nangyari na to sakin before..i think..ngyon lang ulit ako nasaktan like what i had just last year..august-september-october-november 2004.
ngyon lang ulit ako nsaktan ng ganto.hay.may ibang taong involved nnman,..gets?..may kaagaw nnmn...haaay...
Posted at Tuesday, August 30, 2005 by formeonly
Permalink
same ground
Kitchie Nadal
My love
It's been a long time since i cried
And left you out of the blue
It's hard
Leaving you the way
When i never really wanted to
Self denial
Is a game so strange i never really should've wanted
Til there was you
Cause i have learned that love was beyond
What human can imagine
More it clears
The more i gotta let you go
'cause what i don't understand
Is why i'm feeling so bad now
When i know it was my idea
I could've just denied the truth and lied
Now why am i the only one standing stranded
On the same ground
My love
It's been a long time since i cried
And left you out of the blue
It's hard
Leaving you the way
When i never really wanted to
Self denial
Is a game so strange i never really should've wanted
Til there was you
Cause i have learned that love
Is a word just thrown
A litlle bit too much of this
Excuse to fill this infinite of desire
And nevere ever have to fade
Cause what i don't understand
Is why i'm feeling so bad now
When i know it was my idea
I could've just denied the truth and lied
Now why am i the only one standing stranded
On the same ground
If all else fail
Would you be there to love me?
When all else fails
Would you be brave to see right through me?
Posted at Tuesday, August 30, 2005 by formeonly
Permalink
its a new and private blog.. for me only.
whew!!!! i hope i can breathe better now having this blog..
MY NEW BESTFRIEND!!! ©
I perfectly and absolutely trust you.
Posted at Tuesday, August 30, 2005 by formeonly
Permalink
|
|
|
|
 |
|  |
 |
obviously an introvert person.nostalgic.secretive and affectionate. "id rather be quiet"
mapasaya o mapalungkot.this knows. i trust this.my new bestfriend.
God hear me.:)
|
 |
 |
|  |
|
|
|
